Category: Laos

  • A Motorbike Loop of Northern Laos

    A Motorbike Loop of Northern Laos

    Above Longcheng.

    Introduction

    Laos is a beautiful, landlocked country in Southeast Asia. While by no means an unknown destination, it is relatively less travelled by tourists than its neighbours of Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia. This is a shame, because it offers some spectacular scenery, warm-hearted – if, in many cases, brutally poor – people, and exceptional value-for-money for all kinds of visitors from backpackers to rather more well-heeled folk. Those who choose to come here almost always spend more time than they anticipated, enjoying the relaxed pace of life, myriad activities on offer, and excellent food.

    On my travels in February 2025, I actually had no intention of visiting Laos. Partly, I did not know enough – or in fact, much at all – about the country. What I did know of – that it is a hub for sometimes regrettable youth excess – did not appeal.

    That changed when I was in Vietnam, a country that I had high hopes for enjoying and, well, didn’t. Whilst I was in Hué, I met an Australian couple who were slowly making their way to the UK. They’d spent time in Laos already and convinced me to ditch my plans and head to Luang Prabang in the north of Laos. So, a shoutout to Holly and Julian, thanks for setting me on a path to two weeks of adventure.

    Getting There

    By air

    Luang Prabang has an international airport almost within the city itself – only a couple of kilometres to the northeast of the centre. There aren’t many flights per day, and typically only from within Laos and from Thailand and Vietnam. There’s one connection to Siem Reap and one to Nanchang in China.

    Lao Airlines is the state owned flag-carrier. Besides that, Vietnam Airlines, Bangkok Airways and a handful of other airlines serve the city.

    By rail

    Luang Prabang is one stop on the relatively new high-speed rail line from Vientiane (the capital, near the Thai border) to Boten in China.

    Built as a joint venture between China and Laos, the route dramatically cuts journey times across the central and northern parts of the country, stopping in Vang Vieng an hour after departure from Vientiane, and Luang Prabang an hour later.

    Note: there is a strict security regime when using the train. Any flammable products (sunscreen sprays included) or “dangerous weapons” (scissors or pocket knives included) will be confiscated.

    By boat

    A well-established backpacker route into the country is by boat on the Mekong from the Thai border at Chiang Khlong. It takes a couple of days, with an overnight stay in Pakbeng.

    You will find many blogs telling you how to do this, just search “Thailand Laos by longboat”.

    By road

    I left this option until last, for reasons that will become clear later on in this post. Travelling by minibus is (to my mind) the worst way to get around Laos. Still, plenty of options exist to those same larger cities as the train offers, and at least a highway from Vientiane to Vang Vieng now exists to smooth that part of the journey (but motorbikes are not allowed on it).

    Getting In

    Unless you are a citizen of an ASEAN country, or a select few other countries with visa-free entry, you will need a visa to enter Laos.

    Visa-on-arrival is certainly possible at the major airports, road bridges, and the terminal stations on the rail line.

    Tip: do yourself a favour and apply online for a Laos e-Visa. It takes three business days, and you won’t find yourself at the back of a slow-moving queue and needing pristine US dollar bills to get the visa-on-arrival, to then join the back of the immigration queue for the stamp in your passport.

    Luang Prabang

    It’s a lovely city, genuinely I felt a sense of calm here, helped by the warm sunshine and absolute lack of hawkers, scammers and con-artists found in neighbouring countries.

    The city sits against the Mekong river, whilst the Nam Khan river meanders off to the east. Sunsets are wild, I found a prime spot all to myself on the banks of the Mekong, although there are also many bars and boats offering sundowner packages.

    The Mekong River in Luang Prabang.

    Restaurants, bars, and shops selling legitimate and less-legitimate copies of goods abound.

    Tip: the stores on the main street, Sisavangvong Road, have a significant markup on products that you can also find in the covered Dara market off Ratsavong Road. Prices in the market are 40-50% less for the same, uh, brand name goods.

    There’s a decent night market, rather nicer than others I’ve been to, and a separate night food market.

    Renting a Motorbike

    Let’s get down to business. You can of course rent a scooter from any of the many businesses offering them. Personally, I would not want to ride a scooter on the route I took. People do, and the locals of course use them everywhere, but again (and I promise I will explain why), I cannot fathom making this journey on a 110 or 125 Honda.

    Instead, I recommend trading up to a trail bike. Mine was a Honda CRF250L, a bike I would trust to get me anywhere. I rented mine from Off-Roading Laos, and while I’m not being paid to write this, I highly recommend this company. Harry, the (British) owner, is personable, always responsive, reliable, funny, and was my near constant companion over WhatsApp.

    Riding solo is a very different experience from riding in a group. You have to be prepared for anything and to get yourself out of sticky situations on your own. If that’s not for you, form a group and go together. There are similar companies offering similar bikes, with tour guides and accommodation all thrown in. You pays your money and…

    Harry gave me a full rundown of the rental contract, was flexible on number of days hire (fortunately…) and even when we discovered that I’d cracked a bracket on the exhaust on return, didn’t charge me when he’d determined that a simple weld job would fix it. And of course, it wasn’t necessary to leave my passport: just a copy of it and my international driving licence.

    Tip: get an IDP (of the right treaty date for the country, 1949 for Laos) otherwise you won’t be covered by any insurance policy.

    Choose Your Route

    Here’s where my experience gets interesting. The typical loop from Luang Prabang goes clockwise:

    1. Luang Prabang
    2. Nong Khiaw (via route 13 and 1C)
    3. Muang Hiam (via route 1C)
    4. Phonsavan (via route 1C and route 7)
    5. Vang Vieng (via route 7)
    6. Luang Prabang (via route 13)
    https://maps.app.goo.gl/3p2wAMaRn5kL4yod7. Those timings are laughable.

    I actually recommend doing it anti-clockwise, going to Vang Vieng first. Why? Well let’s talk about the elephant in the room.

    The Roads

    Think of a bad road near you. Maybe it has some potholes that you have to avoid, or the surface has been patched up one too many times. Maybe it’s a bit gravelly, or is more of a dirt track.

    These are not the conditions you will find in Laos. Outside of the major cities (like, literally as you cross the limit), the roads crumble. Asphalt is missing for vast expanses, length and breadth. Craterous potholes drop the bike suspension from under you. Landslides have ripped away the road surface and replaced it with ground up sandstone, boulders and rubble.

    Dirt track road outside Longcheng.

    There are not many main roads in northern Laos – most of them are those on the map above. Therefore, they are used by all traffic, from scooters to AWD pickups to minibuses to ubiquitous Hyundai H-100 light freight to huge hulking 40-tonne articulated trucks.

    Winding their way through the mountains on tight curves, these last heavy vehicles have ground away the road surface, to absolutely nothing in many places. You’ve not gone off-road, but these are off-road conditions.

    However bad you are thinking it is, it’s worse. Northern Laos has the worst roads in “touristy” Southeast Asia. (I’m told the south is better but I can’t confirm).

    From “Laos good” to “Laos standard”.

    And then there’s the dust. Those trucks lumber slowly up and down, usually backing up into threes or fours that you will want to get past somehow. They kick up huge clouds of dust that will clog the bike’s air intakes, your air intakes, coat everything you are wearing, and blind your vision of what’s left of the road.

    And then there’s the clouds. Up in the highest sections, you’ll be in the cloud. It’s cold, damp, and with 10-metre visibility.

    Heading into the clouds at Nan.

    And then there are the drivers. Those AWD vehicles are always speeding, badgering you to get out of their way. The Hyundai pickups are the same, only carrying human or animal cargo.

    The truck drivers I found to be more accommodating – when they saw me, they would indicate to let me know it was safe to overtake.

    You, on your motorbike, in unfamiliar conditions, are insignificant.

    My Advice

    • Do not travel after dark.
    • Do not travel in shorts and a vest.
    • Do not travel without a helmet, gloves and other protective gear.
    • Do not wander off into the brush or forest; unexploded bombs still regularly kill people.
    • Do not even think about trying this route in the rainy season.

    And with that all said, the reason I recommend the anti-clockwise route is that the last section, Nong Khiaw to Luang Prabang, is the shortest, and has approximately the best surface, and after all the other sections, you will want that sweet half-day to end on.

    A Confession

    I didn’t actually take the route shown in the map. Between Vang Vieng and Phonsavan, Google actually suggests two options: north-ish on route 7, and south-ish on, well… water.

    Route 7 is horrible. Trucks. Potholes. Boring.

    The other route looks interesting.

    What Google fails to tell you, either by looking at the standard view or even in the detailed directions, is that a substantial portion of the first section is through a lake – Pa Boun to Na Luang. It’s roughly where the blue “3 hr 10 min” indicator is on the map above.

    Only when you switch to satellite view and really zoom in does it become obvious. Google Maps thinks that a road goes through a lake.

    A road, according to Google Maps.

    Had I known this, I might have stuck to route 7. Instead, I found myself and my bike loaded onto a longboat for a three-hour journey, that goes once a day at “midday” (Laos time approximation). It took me two days of solid eight-to-ten hour riding to get to Phonsavan.

    My view on the longboat. Twenty bikes and fifty people.

    Google Maps Tips

    And so, here’s what I have to say about Google Maps in this part of the world.

    • Don’t trust it for anything.
    • Suggested travel durations are laughably short. Bank on at least 40% longer, even on the “sensible” routes.
    • Use two mapping apps. I used Organic Maps as a backup / confirmation source.
    • Use the “offline maps” features. While for the most part Laos has incredibly good LTE data coverage, it’s not universal and when you really need to check your progress, not having data is frightening.
    • Check both standard and satellite views, and zoom zoom zoom in to see what you’re really getting in to.

    It Gets Worse

    After the boat ride, an enforced stop in a tiny village (Sana Somboun) next to a massive gold mine was not what I was expecting to make, but since it was 5pm, I had to stop before dark.

    Next morning, I set out to complete the section to Phonsavan, taking route 9303. You can tell by the numbering how minor this route is, but still it’s traversed (and ruined) by the trucks hauling ore from the gold mine.

    The road after a landslide has been cleared.

    Just when I thought the road could not get any worse, it disintegrated entirely into 20km of sand, high up in the mountains. It is exhausting riding a bike through sand, physically and mentally. I absolutely do not recommend it.

    20 kilometres of sand.

    But I had no alternative. And hence I was glad that my rental period from Harry was flexible, because after all that had happened, I needed two extra days – eight in total, not six – to complete this loop (including two much-needed rest days).

    Hence my advice: route 7 might be terrible, but this was more terrible so don’t try it unless you’re an accomplished off-road dirt bike rider (which I feel a little like I am now).

    All that said, there’s still a cracking sunset to be had en-route.

    Sunset in Sana Somboun.

    Where To Stay

    In the bigger towns and cities you’ll have plenty of options at all price levels, so I’m obviously only saying where I stayed.

    Luang Prabang: Museum Inn and Hotel. Lovely colonial-era frontage, excellent staff and very comfortable. Easy walking distance to the market areas, but then nowhere is very far away in the centre of the city. Good breakfast and great shower.

    Vang Vieng: Camellia Hotel. Rather basic but clean. Very average breakfast and bad shower. You could do better but since I basically got there, ate, slept and left it was okay.

    Sundown near Vang Vieng.

    Phonsavan: Kongkeo Guesthouse. Amazing little bungalow affair, and while the facilities aren’t anything special (and no breakfast available), the owner Mr Kong is an absolute gem of a man, stoking the fire at night (it gets cold here) and telling stories. Highly recommended.

    The very-welcome fire pit at Kongkeo Guesthouse. It’s made from two halves of a missile.

    Muang Hiam: there’s not much choice here, so the Daonouar Guesthouse was my selection. It’s new, but also nothing special, just okay for an overnight. Terrible breakfast, sub-par shower. The reason for staying here is that across the road is a hot spring which is great to unwind in after a long journey.

    Nong Khiaw: Papaya Resort. “Resort” is a bit of a stretch but this is a new offering with sixteen bungalows looking out over the Nam Ou river, a beautiful setting offering great sunrise and sunset viewing. Great shower and a heated toilet seat (not sure why). There’s a restaurant attached for breakfast (not included) and other meals, and while the organisation is a bit chaotic, the food is really good. It’s a little way out of the town but only five minutes ride.

    Papaya Resort in Nong Khiaw.

    I also stayed at the Phousy Gueshouse near Sana Somboun as an emergency place during my wild two days avoiding route 7. Cheap, no breakfast or any fancy facilities. But needs must.

    Fuel and ATMs

    For the most part, fuel is not hard to come by. Every medium-sized town will have at least one petrol station. I tended to fill up at about half a tank but never came close to fuel anxiety. There’s no petrol station in Sana Somboun, but there are places selling (expensive, relatively) fuel by the litre bottle.

    Just indicate to fill to the max, and the attendants know what to do.

    For cash, again ATMs are not hard to come by in towns. There’s all kinds of fretting by reviewers about cards being swallowed or cash not delivered. “Don’t use a Visa card”, “Don’t use a Mastercard” are the contradictory statements. I had no problem whatsoever with my German Visa card or my Wise Visa card.

    Above Kham.

    Conclusion

    This is not a tour for the faint-hearted. Each day is long, hot, dusty and you will ache for days afterwards. It’s not a relaxing experience, especially compared to other tours you may do in Europe or even Thailand or Vietnam.

    You will see unsettling amounts of poverty and terrible living conditions. But you will also see grand vistas of nature around every corner. You will constantly be waving at little kids who rarely see a foreigner. You will gain riding experience like no other. You will love it and hate it. You will be changed by it.

    And you won’t forget it.

    Those Views

    Nong Khiaw.
    Room with a view, above Kham.
    On top of the world, above Longcheng.
    Modern technology, a motorbike, and a mobile phone advertisement.
    River valley near Huameuang.
    Approaching Nong Khiaw. Route 1C is notably good here.
    Orion is in there somewhere.
    Cultural Hall in Phonsavan.

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  • Day 28: Bye-bye Laos, Hello Thailand

    Nearly forgot to write a post today (oh no, I hear all zero of my readers say).

    I’ll be brief anyway, since it’s mostly a travelling day. Laos is over (😪) and I’m in Thailand (Chiang Mai) for a few days. The flight was a few minutes over one hour, on a tiny turboprop. Second-best thing was being given a little extra legroom by the check-in clerk. First-best thing was the in-flight snack: cake.

    Take that, all other airlines with your poxy snack crackers or half a sandwich. Lao Airlines serves cake and you are all on notice to up your game.

    Cake. Yes I started eating it Neanderthals-style before realising there was a knife to cut it into civilised slices.

    Chiang Mai

    Third time here. I really like this city, even though on approach I had some concern that the annual burning season had started early (it is rumoured to have done so in the south of the country). But the haze turned out to be just “normal” pollution and at ground level it’s standard sunshine and heat.

    It being a Sunday, the huge Sunday “walking street” market is on. Actually this is one of the good ones, the side streets have most of the food offerings, and the main street is a little higher quality fare than usual. Absolutely no sign of knock-off branded products which is a real surprise.

    Absolutely no sign of rubbery fish cakes at any food stall which is also a surprise and not a welcome one 😡.

    Meanwhile, my dusty clothes are at the laundry, along with my dusty Nikes, which will either never come back, come back smaller, come back ruined or (🤞🏼) come back looking like new, for the princely sum of 200THB (€5.60).

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  • Day 27: Further Success and a Sunset

    Success II: The Succession (🤔)

    My journey back from Nong Khiaw to Luang Prabang was without incident or mistake. Anyone would think I’m getting the hang of follow this road, turn left, follow that road, stop which is great for the last day of biking.

    Route 1C west of Nong Khiaw is probably the best quality I’ve experienced in Laos, outside of the main towns and cities. The asphalt-to-pothole ratio is remarkably high. A shame that it only runs for 28km before that turn left onto route 13.

    Route 13 is (apparently) then most important road in Laos. It runs almost the entire length of the country north to south. Wherever there are built-up areas, there is road decay. Wherever trucks turn or corner, there is road decay. It’s great when it’s good, awful when it’s bad.

    By the way: I have a whole section of my RAM currently dedicated to just how bad Google Maps is. I’ll save it for now because this is a nice post.

    I’d love to tell you that I got some nice pictures on the way, but I didn’t. I took two, in a 30-second pitstop because once you’ve passed three trucks in convoy, you don’t want to have them catch up again.

    Yeah, OK, it’s the Mekong.

    Honestly I was so over it and going probably a little too fast in places, but in any case, I made it to LP in just over three hours, in time to get a fresh cut and shave from Mr 50,000kip barber, and deliver the bike back to Harry. We had a nice chat, him again offering praise and some astonishment at my choice of route. But he’s right: it would be rubbish to have nothing to say about a journey.

    Sunsets

    On a slight whim, I power-walked down to the river bank to catch the sunset. It’s always slightly surprising how fast the sun sets, and I thought I might miss it. I found a wall to sit on, far from the shoreline but then I spotted some steps leading down to the edge of the river.

    And there I crouched as the sun descended from behind some clouds, dipping then behind the treeline on the opposite bank. It was all extremely lovely, and I think a beautiful end to my (let’s not forget) spontaneous leap into Laos.

    Boats on the Mekong at sunset.
    Sunlight reflecting off clouds.
    Sun almost receded beyond the treeline.
    A tourist boat returning to harbour.

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  • Day 26: Rest

    Did literally nothing today, apart from lose and be reunited with my sunglasses.

    So here’s morning and afternoon.

    Nong Khiaw at 08:00.
    Nong Khiaw at 16:30.

    Back to Luang Prabang tomorrow. I believe the road is much better, kinda nice to have left the comfortable bit to the end.

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  • Day 25: A Successful Journey

    Who’dathunkit? I can actually navigate from place A to place B without getting lost, needing a boat or taking a 50km wrong turn.

    On time into Nong Khiaw, a small town on the banks of the Nam Ou, and a magnet for backpackers, scooter-routers and loop-doers.

    There’s a reason everyone wants to stop here and it’s this:

    View north from the bridge over the Ou River.
    View south.

    The terrain here is beautiful but uncompromising. The road from Muang Kiam is one of the worst of those I’ve been on. Back up into the mountains, and there have been frequent rockfalls and landslides. When they happen, the debris is simply pushed over the side of the cliff, and what’s left behind is pulverised by lorries into all-penetrating dust. Stretches of continuous asphalt are few and far between across the mountain passes.

    Again, as I was riding I was struggling to comprehend the lives and lifestyles of the villagers who live right up against the road, every day as trucks, minibuses and pickups rumble past. The efforts that they make spraying water to keep the dust down seem Sisyphean. I can complain all I like about it as a once-through-and-done tourist. Living it every day seems like hell.

    So I take these views as I see them: staggering natural beauty coupled with grinding poverty. An uncomfortable mix.

    Terrible segue

    What’s not uncomfortable is my accommodation for the next two nights (my ass will thank me). A little way out of the town is a new “resort” (doing a lot of heavy lifting) comprising about 15 wooden bungalows looking out over the river.

    Whoever designed and built them definitely considered the wow factor.

    Bedroom area, taken from the entrance.
    Panorama view from the terraced balcony.

    There’s a hot shower, a heated toilet seat, and a view to soothe the weariest rider.

    I shall make the most of it.

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  • Day 24: Try Not To Sweat The Small Stuff

    In theory, today’s ride should have been a nice six-ish hours from Phonsavan to Muang Hiam. Take route 7 out of town, switch to route 1C, don’t miss the turning where route 1C goes left, turn right, done.

    You can probably spot where things went awry. In some respects, it’s testament to how “good” route 1C is in comparison to every other road in Laos, that I was making such good progress. “I can’t have come as far as the turn yet, it’s only been three hours.”

    Of course I missed the turn and didn’t notice. My only observation was that the road conditions became somewhat worse, but I put that down to the increased number of lorries dragging themselves up and down the mountains.

    Only when I stopped for petrol did I check navigation and wonder why my ETA was two hours later than at the outset. Yes. A 25km wrong direction slog meant another 25km in reverse.

    An aside

    You may be thinking “well duh, this is what satnav is for.” Of course I’m using a navigation app (damn you GMaps). But my phone isn’t mounted to the bike, it would be vibrated to hell and probably down the side of a cliff in minutes.

    So I have only GMaps mirroring navigation to the Apple Watch app which is (shocker) absolutely shite. It takes five minutes to detect that the phone is navigating. It then requires two taps to show directions (sure, I love to stop just to tap my wrist). The navigation display is useless for two-wheel use, with tiny text for “distance to next turn” and “ETA”. And the use of the wrist tap to indicate which direction to turn is lost in the general vibration of riding a motorbike.

    So yeah. I missed the turn, and when I realised I got angry, and riding a motorbike when angry is not A Good Combination. Either I had to stop riding, or stop being angry with myself, and only one of those was a real option.

    Back I went. The turn was so fucking obvious, but also obviously too soon. The remainder of the ride was acceptable to challenging but nothing too bad, in Lao terms.

    Hot springs

    One of the reasons I got annoyed was that I’d hoped to be in this one-horse town early enough that I could go for a long soak in the hot springs just up the road. As it was, I arrived 2h30 later than planned and assumed the springs would be closing at dusk.

    Good news: they close at 8pm, so my weary ass and shoulders got some relaxation time.

    As I’d pulled into where I intended to stay I’d noticed three other bikes similar to mine. This is a popular stopping-off point on this loop so no great surprise, and also no great surprise that their riders were already in one of the pools, since the springs are only two minutes away.

    I got talking, two Aussies (brothers as it turns out) and their riding guide. Ended up having Lao hotpot with them all in a local place before coming back to settle in.

    Lesson learned

    Again: be fucking kind to yourself, you idiot. You messed up. It happens. Everything turned out okay.

    And while I didn’t stop many times, there were, of course, some spectacular views.

    Tomorrow

    The route to Nong Khiaw has one turn. I shall be sure to make it. And it shouldn’t be a long journey, if the Aussies are to be believed, as they came from there today.

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  • Day 23: Busy Doing Nothing

    Contrary to yesterday’s post, this one will be brief.

    Breakfast: a scrambled egg and bacon crepe. Unlikely to repeat that experience.

    Culture: the Phonsavan Museum (Xieng Khouang Provincial Museum). Closed, despite the sign on the wall outside indicating opening hours of 0900–1600 Tuesday to Sunday.

    Instead, took another photo of a statue, I assume also the first Lao president (see a previous post).

    President Souphanouvong, but shot into the sun so you can barely make out his features.

    But mostly today: relaxing in a hammock.

    My legs in a hammock.

    Tomorrow: the butt-stress-test continues.

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  • Day 22: Mistakes Were Definitely Made

    Almost too tired to write this, so I’ll keep it brief. Today was hard, physically and mentally challenging to keep a bike upright and focus on the “road” ahead.

    The route from Anouvong starts off badly, with the trucks from the open-cast mines in the area tearing up the road north out of the village.

    The Ugly

    But I became accustomed to it, able to negotiate the dips and lurches, the scrabbling tyres over rocks. In places, there are hints of what the road surface once was, and I began to look forward to them.

    There is no other option, for me or the trucks, or the people who live here. This is their daily life, spending hours at a time going tens of kilometres. My trip was 115km, and Google-Who-Must-Not-Be-Trusted says it takes about 4h30m. In fact it was more like 7h.

    I spent two hours negotiating my way across 15km of sand, rubble, gashes in the landscape. The only thing that stopped me giving up was that I couldn’t. Nobody is around to come to the rescue. Gotta keep keeping on.

    I’m not an off-road biker, but this terrain is basically off-road, and I owe a lot to the bike for getting me through it. It handles these conditions well, even when I could not. Thanks, little Honda CRF250L.

    Doing so well, despite being caked in dust.

    The Beautiful

    Still, the country of Laos still served up a delightful variety of vistas. Today was actually sunny from the offset, and that helps to lift the gloom of the dust (the dust, oh my word the dust. Some of the poorest people living by the roadside are drenched in it repeatedly as trucks, 4x4s and, to be fair, bikes, rattle past their doors).

    Despite my needing to heavily focus on the road surface, and despite the ravages being inflicted by strip-mining, there are epic, wondrous moments when the brush drops away and I’m almost at the apex of the mountain and…

    Mountains for days.

    I took a lot of photos at this point. But I also stopped to just drink it in. Who else has been here? This took effort to get to.

    It also took effort to get away from, but again I don’t have pictures of the worst of it. So here’s some others from the day.

    Is it worth it?

    None of this would have happened if I’d taken the obvious route from Vang Vieng to Phonsavan. It would still have been hard; the roads here are not pretty for anyone. But I certainly made an interesting choice.

    Harry, who I rented the bike from, messaged me:

    I did see you in the tracker heading towards Phonesavan from Vang Vieng via Long Chen.

    That’s a hell of a route 😂

    But you’re a brave dude for taking that route. I’ve not been there for a year but last time I went it was pretty clenching so to speak!

    It’s been an experience. One I’ll remember.

    Not one that I wish to repeat though.

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  • Day 21: Let’s… Sail‽

    In the words of my friend and former colleague Andrew, mistakes were made.

    Or perhaps, like Bob whatshisname, a happy little accident.

    I’m writing this post while sat near the front of one of those narrow boats that transports everything here, from people to scooters to chickens to idiot white people with their oversized trail bikes.

    They must love me.

    And so you may be asking, “Matt, didn’t you rent a bike so that you could ride a bike?” It’s true, I did, but I did not bank on Google Maps being a filthy liar. “Oh yeah,” it said, “there are two routes from Vang Vieng to Phonsavan. Either go back the way you came a bit and then over the top, or take the southern road and approach from the south.”

    I left nice and early, 8-ish, to give me plenty of time. After two hours, that southern route runs out of routeness. There was a bunch of construction workers where the road disintegrated into absolutely nothing and one gestured to me “no, go back and take the boat”.

    Not far from here, the road just disappeared.

    The boat?

    Ohhh.

    The boat.

    That’s the boat, on the left, docked against a houseboat.

    You see, while I was talking with the guy who sold me two new inner tubes to replace the ones that got nicked yesterday, I asked him which route was “better roads”. He gestured at the southern route and then pointed to a picture of a boat on a poster of tourist activities.

    I smiled, thinking sure, but I’m not interested in a tourist boat.

    “One a day,” he said. “At twelve. Take one hour from here.”

    Meh. Whatever, thanks for the tip but I’ll be on my way.

    It all became (sort of) clear by 10:30am.

    The Boat

    Eventually I find the boat on my third attempt. And I ask a tween what time it leaves, where it goes, how long, how much. Communication isn’t so easy when there’s barely a data connection for translation. But a calculator helps for numbers, so: 12 (time), 280 (price), the rest of it, a mystery.

    More and more people are arriving on scooters and from time to time a guy wheels them down from the houseboat/dock that the boat is moored to. They neatly line up, transverse fashion and people can sit either side.

    I’m getting a little concerned that there won’t be room for my relatively large bike (just be glad it’s not a GS1200…) but reassure myself with the general impression that I get from the Lao that “we’ll make it happen” and indeed he does, with the support of about five other guys to manhandle my bike into position.

    “Great,” I think, “time to get going”, as I clamber aboard and take what appears to be the VIP seat near the front.

    But nope. Still more scooters to cram on, they managed to get another four in the remaining space by my knees.

    Just going with it tbh.

    As of 2:20pm, that’s where I am, somewhere in the middle of a reservoir that I can just about see is fed by a river, that may or may not pass somewhere near Phonsavan, that the boat may or may not traverse.

    What’s that about comfort zones again?

    Postscript

    Yeah the boat didn’t get anywhere near as close to where I needed to be, and since it’ll be dark well before I could make it to Phonsavan and the hotel I had booked, I found a very down-to-earth guesthouse.

    There are a lot of roosters here. It may be an interesting night.

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